the end of the beginning

okay, I know, everything's a vent post these days, and I've barley posted this month, but what else is a junior in high school supposed to do besides cut out anything that might bring joy to their consistent stress-con ??
As the end of my junior year of high school approaches, various important tests seem to pop up every other day (taking the SATS in like 7 days lol) (not ready). In my genius way of handling this, I've been a blob of nothing who does nothing (literally nothing) but watch netflix and mope about, getting paler by the day, avoiding all reasonable responsibility. It's not even that bad really, for me. I don't have a job at the moment (or a car, it broke down, its supposed to be ready tomorrow, but god knows my father will haggle at the price with the guy and make things more fun), or any sports or big-time commitments. As I've mentioned in earlier posts, its just the impending deadlines and life stuff happening all the time.

ANYWAY, I'm really going to try and stop complaining here.

My prom was totally last weekend, and although my night turned into a hot, sticky mess, I def enjoyed the photo-ops and how confident I felt about myself that night (40 minutes in front of the mirror, putting goop on your face meticulously has that effect on me) heres some super-teenage prom pics for you to enjoy.

me and my bf!!!

me and my bf again 

jus me

pals (this is snapchat so it sucks sorry)

more pals

main prom selfie

fashionable at prom

Here are some crappy school lighting iPhone camera-app scans of the pictures I took of Katie while I was in Montreal last.

i had an extra sheet of paper so i did this one on a whim so its not as good #judgementfreezone

contour/cheekbones on fleek

KT doin her makeup thang..this one is my fav.. i had to burn & dodge it like a PRO 

I'm going to Montreal again for another weekend visit in mid-June. I'm taking some of my American friends this time and hopefully they'll get to meet some Canadians.

I honestly attempted to film a makeup tutorial yesterday but it was all overexposed and you couldn't even see what was going on my face, so maybe I'll try that again later. I've been wanting to try and get a little bit more involved in youtube because I've gotten so obsessed with so many different youtubers lately, but I'm just not sure I have what it takes. I'm also a really busy student so I'm not sure if I would have time (especially this upcoming fall) to keep a channel updated with edited videos all the time. Plus, I'm not totally sure what I would film about. I'm not loaded enough to be filming makeup and fashion hauls all the time. I'll give it a go in the summertime if I'm feeling the boredom one day.
I'm thinking my next post will finally be something cute & fun, like my spring/summer fashion built around what I might be doing with the day. stay tuned for that, I promise now that summer is just around the corner I will have more interesting/cheerful posts. My fellow juniors know this pain. Lets stick together, we can do it! not crying at all right now

zayn, photography, vlogs, emotions?

Half day today at school, so I decided to run into the city with my mother and hit the goodwill, and I was thinking, hey, since I'm coming back to Burlington tomorrow with my main CDuff, I was thinking perhaps I could do a vlog of some sort, and if not that, then perhaps a makeup turotial consisting of cheaper products? We are hitting the Bed Bath & Beyond and hopefully snagging some deep discount products, which inspired me into thinking, hey, perhaps you would like to see how I stretch that dollar, hunny. Let me know if you'd be interested in seeing a vlog/affordable makeup tutorial, or both! :*

I'll hopefully be snapping some film shots tomorrow with my newly repaired Nikon N2000, and hopefully getting them developed, like, this year *eye roll at myself*
I've got a nice long weekend ahead, and hopefully be doing some stuff that I can share with the big, wide internet here.
I've also still really got to work on my digital photography assignment, basically I tried to rush to show I just had something done, and basically the two images below are my faves so far. Just experimenting a bit with some bright, morning light! Spring is coming, I can FEEL it in my pores.

i've discovered a new Lightroom preset, thanks to the internet. I'm really feeling pastel, light images with a pinkish hue. Perhaps its the springtime in the air.

ALSO, OH MY GOD, the whole Zayn thing? I'm literally fucking shocked and, yes, I did cry when I found out, because One Direction was the first band I ever really liked and celebrity type boys I had a crush on, and honestly they were just really fucking important to me when I was just starting to get a grip on who I was becoming as a teenager. I literally had a 1D fan account on Twitter in like, the 8th grade to 9th grade. I had like 3,000 followers, they were my utter loves. Still kind of are, although its shifted more to Harry and Zayn, (a little more subtly, ha HA.)
Seriously, I saw them open for Big Time Rush when they were teeny cute babies in Albany, New York when I was in the 8th grade, (like, 5 years ago, with Caitlyn, actually. She feels the pain as well.) and I still remember it like it was last night. Zayn has always been one of my favorites (especially lately, he's been looking hella fit the last year or so) and honestly its broken my heart. 1D will forever be with me in my soul, and I respect Zayn and this situation, but I'm still incredibly sad about it. I feel like I've been with them all this way, and honestly, it really is emotional for me. I don't feel embarrassed by being upset about it, because it's really like a part of my adolescence is changing and maybe even ending. I hope the boys don't break up entirely, but really, will it ever be the same? We all hope so, of course, but in reality, we know it can't be. I'm crying again.

I literally saw him when he looked like he does on the far left. Sigh.

Just a quick update, like I said, I really want to connect with people more through this whole thing! I really want to at least try and make some new friends in this blogging community of beauty/fashion/whatever I'm doing here blogs. Ugh, this is turning into a ramble, I can feel it. But, please don't be shy in asking about what you'd like to see, hell, I'd love to even just hear ideas for blog posts! I seriously love you, especially if you check in regularly, so give me a shout, if you want! :*
This has been an incredibly random post, I hope you all still appreciate the life update. ciao darlings

grandma weekend

recently, I've felt the need to involve myself in some new time-consuming activities that aren't totally pointless in the grand scheme of things, (such as prowling Pintrest aimlessly in attempts to conspire the perfect prom makeup/hair situation. the journey is never over.)
so I took up embroidery this weekend. In the past 48 hours, this is what I've accomplished:

I was really feeling my inner zooey deschanel. so qUirK¥

I don' think its half bad for only 48 hours in tha game.

Don't worry though, I still binge-watched Fresh Off The Boat (amazing) on Hulu while I did the "Queen" one. Perfect for above my bed. Let's see if that shirt holds up to the washing machine or routine wear. Probably not. But maybe.

I hit the Goodwill and copped a dope black tee shirt dress thing from American Apparel. I should probably wash it so I can dry it like, 3 times, so I can shrink it to a size small (its a medium). I like my shirt dresses tight, brah.

I also hit my favorite store ever, Bed Bath and Beyond, and grabbed the lip color I'm wearing in the photo above (NYX Matte Lip Cream in Monte Carlo), as a possible prom lip color to go with my long black dress (too vampirish? impossible), the NYX WonderPencil and the NYX WonderStick for contour (its dope, in case you were looking for a recommendation).
We also grabbed some jars and shit at the craft store (I didn't know how much I loved craft stores), and we (me and my mother) blew fuckin stacks up in there. On jars and shit. Why, you might ask? Neither of you can do crafts? Well, to you, I say, refer to the above, babes. :*

trippin in the city

so, I got back from New York on Monday, and we left on Thursday for Albany and stayed in the city for two nights, and let me tell you, I'm going to be drinking coffee at home for at least 3 months/forever. I love New York, but oh my god, I am so broke right now. I'm currently on a desperate job search because I need some income pretty badly now. I picked up an application for Dunkin Donuts and realized that was not a good option for me (donut addiction+working around donuts all day=diabeetus)

New York was amazing and beautiful, as usual. The one different thing about this trip was that I visited The New School (Eugene-Lange for liberal arts), and oh man, its amazing. I love everything about it. Its perfect for me. Its in the middle of New York City, its got an intimate class size, and a huge part of life TNS has to do with social justice and involving yourself in social justice projects locally or around the world. I loved it, in short. The buildings were beautiful and modern and the writing oriented curriculum really was the icing on the cake for me. I want to go there so bad, and I think if I work hard this year and get an acceptable SAT score, I could get in.  However, its also about 60K a year. I mean, you never know, I could get a ton of those random specific scholarships and maybe my grandparents will chip in. I'll keep you updated.

We stayed in the beautiful Waldorf-Astoria and splurged on some fancy-ass meals around town at the 21 Club (which was superb), and the Bull and Bear in the Waldorf. We visited classic New York stores such as Tiffany's and Bergdorf's. I ended up splurging on a Michael Kors bag (which was the real wallet-emptier), the Anastasia Beverley Hills Contour Pallete in Light (which is amaze by the way, maybe I'll talk about it in a post soon about fancy makeup), and  a single long-sleeved white tee shirt. I think I have enough stuff to last me awhile.

but isn't it glorious...?

I unfortunately didn't get to take many pictures since we were only in the city for like less than 48 hours and we were running around doing a million things, but I got some cool pics of the decor inside the Waldorf and the MoMA.

bull & bear

lobby area thing

moma album covers

warhol

I was taking pictures of minimalist art when this lady threw her hand in. does life imitate art? yes

me and my pal

more of me and my pal feat me with falsies

me in front of a wall at Anthropologie while a lil bit sick

Now school is back into swing and I am pining for it to be over already, looking to maybe spending some time alone in Montreal this summer for a few weeks or other...stuff... maybe....

Doing all this college stuff and traveling is really making me want to go away for awhile soon. I hope to get out of VT this summer and do something cool and do fun stuff. Now I'm rambling so im gonna chill and let this be just a quick update on how my trip went and whats up. Prom season is coming up and that will be the one thing I'm not too cool to look forward to. Maybe I'll make a post on how to do your own makeup/maybe some hair for prom. Let me know if anybody actually read this, by the way. I feel like I'm talking to myself a little bit? 

kisses 

updating

Goddamn, sorry for the inactivity! I've been insanely busy the past two weeks. I'm just finding a spare moment now to just give some sort of update. My birthday was great! I had a fantastic dinner with friends and I laughed the whole time and we took adorable ass pics. Of course they all stole the Instax shots of all of us as a group, but here's some of mostly me and one of me and one other friend.

Been rockin the middle part since this night. Not everyone is a fan, but, as you can guess, I don't care.

Gotten some complaints about looking too mean in pictures... this is just my face... GOD, MOM!

It was so fun and cute love it 

I got some great gifts from my family and friends that are still coming in! I almost feel bad, like, stop giving me presentssss but like, don't stop giving me presents, you know? I've spent almost every gift card I've gotten on makeup ($7 Korean BB Cream. It's dope.) 

I also ordered some dope new black Doc Martens that will be coming in the mail tomorrow I think, and I'm so excited to start using those in outfits. I have a literal boot addiction. I think I own every type of boot under the sun but honestly it's one of my favorite things about myself. Boot squad 

I'm also super extra excited to be touring The New School and Pace in NYC in February. I had a college meeting the other day and a lot of my teachers think I would love Parson's, and I honestly think they're probably right. It seems amazing, but ah-mazingly expensive, so we'll see if 1) I get in when I apply next fall and 2) If someone gives me 40 to 60K to go. laughing crying emoji till I die

I think we're also going to be checking out the MoMA while we're there, which would be so fun and cool, since I haven't been there in ages. I will be making a very detailed post about the trip probably, as I will want all my killer outfits documented and shared with the world. This city deserves only the best of me tbh. it's like so damn spiritual 

I've been doing some pretty great work in my photography lately, here's some stuff from a recent shoot with my NY travel buddy

I was really inspired by Kate Moss' early work in the 90's when she was just a teenager.

Corrine Day

Although I did that one strung-out weird makeup thing, I kept my model looking natural like Moss in her pictures. 

My model was looking very sweet next to Kate's sass level on 100

I'll try not to go this long without posting again! I seriously just need to bump up my GPA tho just a wee bit so I'm feeling the pressure right now, I didn't mean to I swear. I'll post some outfit shit this weekend because I feel like I'm gonna need to look fresh after a week of hoodies and crappy eyelashes because all I'm doing is reading depressing books for AP Literature and crying 

kisses to my bitches 

whats in your girl's bag?

First week back at school. Some adjectives to describe my return to the grind:
-ew
-vomit
-disgusting
-cruel
-sad

I although getting back into my workhorse mentality seems lame right now, the good news is, I'm still alive and my birthday is coming up in a few days, and I will officially be the Dancing Queen. I'll probably make a birthday post with my birthday makeup that I will meticulously plan out, as well as a birthday outfit. Because thats me. ALSO, the new season premier of none other than Broad City is HAPPENING on my birthday. Shoutout to GOD for making that happen this year. You're an actual baller, dude.

 Quick update, I've been looking into getting a new hair straightener that will actually work for both straightening and making those cute beachy waves, and I've been hinting to my family to get me the NuMe Megastar for my birthday. It's gorgeous and works tremendously according to the NuMe Instagram account and countless user reviews. The best part is that they usually have so many promotions going on, all you have to do is check out their RetailMeNot page and use one of their many codes for discounts usually around 70% off. ($160 flat iron magically becomes $70) They also post promotion codes on their Instagram once in awhile. I recommend their website to anyone who's looking for really high quality heat tools like wands and flat irons that can be made much more affordable with a little couponing.

So theres your infomercial.
Moving on,

To have a lil something to distract my fellow babes who have also returned to school this day, heres a  cute & nice official What's in My Groovy Fringey-Ass Disorganized Bag (If You Care) Post.

Here is my dope bag

 So, here you can see my lippy obsession isn't as bad as I make it seem, but really, these are just the tip of the iceberg of what I carry around. That Josie Maran lip/cheek stain is a lifesaver. So moisturizing and flattering (and tastes amazing). Burt's Bees is a given. Not sure why I'm carrying around the super dark purple lipstick. Never know when you need to step it up to vampiress status. And theres a boring but cute & flattering nude/pink Rimmel Kate Moss lipstick.

In the shade 80. And chipped red nail polish is IN this season.

 Here are my other random items. My adorable pouch there is responsible for holding stuff (obviously), and a lighter in case I need to light some candles wherever I go. You never ever know. My portable phone charger is also included here (so helpful, everyone should invest in one). I love it so much and it gets warm when it charges things so its great in the winter. A little tiny bottle of Chloé perfume, for when I just need to spruce it up, and of course, my keys. (Fun fact: I'm so intensley attached to my car keys, when I lost my tie-dye lanyard my boyfriend bought for me on the streets of New York, I cried for at least 10 minutes. I love my keys.)

And I like to travel with my Instax and some film if I'm going out and want to capture some cute teenagery moments.

That's that for a quick post, I plan on going out on a shoot tomorrow inspired by Kate Moss's "heroin chic" era of the 90's. Check back tomorrow or in the next few days for how those turn out!