2015 and me

I've never been one for tons of New Years Resolutions or reflecting for hours on the past, but I think I'm slowly coming to a phase in my life where I can really start to make things happen for myself, and to make things happen, you really need the right mindset.

This Tumblr text post really got me thinking about who I should be reflecting myself as in 2015:

I mean, I just bought a fabulous new black faux-fur coat yesterday, and I think this is just a sign for me.

So I've decided... I'm gonna pick up smoking cigarettes this year!
KIDDINGGG!
Could you imagine?
But I will be applying this fancy confidence into my everyday life even more, by becoming the more positive, mentally independent and smart woman I know we all can be.

I want to make more art this year, I want to feel as beautiful as ever every day, I want to love passionately and stand up for what is right. I want to drink more water, keep my shit hydrated. I want to take pictures every day, rain or shine, dark or light, "good" or "bad". I want to say what I feel in the moment, instead of thinking about what I could have said or done differently later. I want to attract new friends who share my interests and my sense of humor. I want to drink red wine while laughing at the people who don't believe in the talent I possess in my interests and dreams. I want to continue to un-learn problematic behaviors as I have over 2014, and I want to achieve higher and higher goals. I know I have the potential to be great, but potential is worth nothing without the action that brings that potential up to achievements. I want all my desires and wishes to be fulfilled.
I want to grow. I will grow.

I already know 2015 will be an incredibly important year for me. I know I will be faced with many decisions and challenges. Applying to college, hopefully being accepted to college, creating works of art in photography and writing and acting that make me happy or just emotional. New friends, new experiences, new work. I'm sure relationships will be strained, I hope they survive the stress, but I also must keep in mind that this is my life, and my future, and I shouldn't slow down or dismiss opportunities for anyone else. If it all works out, thats wonderful and amazing and more than I could ever hope for, and if things change along the way, I must remember to keep in mind that the world is what I make of it.

important note for 2015

Thank you 2014, you've taught me so much and given me all the tools I need to make 2015 and beyond all I want it to be. My experiences in 2014 are so sacred and beautiful. I'm grateful for all of the precious moments I shared with my love, with my friends and with myself. I want those moments to continue with those people. So 2015, please be kind, inspire me, show me what I can do.

I wish you all the very best 2015. May you all become the person you want to be! Be safe tonight!
love u

december loves

Yo bitches! I hope everyone's enjoying their times off and chilling with the people you like/tolerate. I hope nobody's drunk uncle was too rude. You can always move away in 2015 and claim its the 'new you'.

I personally have had a fun and cute Christmas and have spent the past 12 hours getting framiliar with a new magenta Kindle Fire (word).  I know it sort of comes off as the thing your parents buy you because you asked for an iPad for Christmas but they don't love you enough so they bought you a Kindle Fire, but I actually asked for one because I find iPads cumbersome and easily broken. I left my old Paperwhite Kindle in London on accident the day we left at a friends house, and it never made it back to the states because I think my friend just took it. Anyway, I totally recommend it to anyone who's looking for a really portable and adorbs tablet. It's perf for all the traveling I'm supposed to be doing soon, because it pre-loads your shows you watch on Amazon Instant before you even watch them so there's no buffering. Whaaaaat?  Literal genius. Thats why these guys are rich. Also, you can download anything available on Amazon Instant onto it for long car trips or what have you free of charge. Which is, if you ask me, the best idea since free healthcare. It's just good. I'd recommend to a friend. Amazon should pay me for this. Anyway, moving on from this infomercial...

Since I really wanted to break it in, I thought I'd check out what Amazon Prime Instant had on their repertoire, and I stumbled across Palo Alto and remembered how I've been meaning to watch it. I really loved the whole aesthetic of the film and how it touched on teen culture today. 

I thought Emma Roberts did a great job in playing her part as a conflicted and very real teenage girl.

love the poster art.

I thought the screencaps from the movie were really honest and reflective

I love the dreamy look of scenes like this one.

I thought it was ironic how James Franco played the older, attractive coach who preys on the younger girls on his soccer team after that scandal with him messaging underage girls in real life via Instagram, especially since he was probably in the process of making this movie during that time. I can't be sure though, just something I noticed. 

Franco plays Mr. B (who is supposed to be 35) and Roberts plays April (who's acting as a 14 year old)

I thought the movie itself was pretty good, it was a little difficult to follow at points, and a lot of inferencing is involved with watching this. I was sort of confused with which teenagers liked each other at certain points, but maybe that was intentional. It was a very artistic and meaningful experience. Great movie for older teens and young adults.

On the theme of the art of moving picture, here's some television loves from the past month:

• Faking It (MTV)
• Girls (HBO) (Finished all 3 seasons in, like, a week) (obvi)
• Inside Amy Schumer 
• All my usuals, The Mindy Project has been great so far, Brooklyn 99 has been okay, Bobs Burgers. 

I'm so excited for the last season of Parks & Recreation, which comes out just a day before my birthday. I will cry every episode because it means we are closer to the end. 

Anyway, another great holiday discovery I've made for myself is...

individual false eyelashes.

Straight up, they give me the confidence I need to be the best person I can be. No lie. 

They've always been hard to come by where I live, but I always knew they were for me. The next town over's drug store finally started selling them (or maybe I just couldn't find them), and I picked up some individuals in medium and short and a strip lash set, and some Kiss eyelash glue that was pretty cheap and surprisingly pretty great! I've been using these babies right here

They are super easy to apply and just adding two or three on the outer corner/middle of your lashes makes a HUGE difference. Long, luscious lashes make me so happy, these jammers literally give me enough confidence to jump on a table in some 6 inch stilettos and sing every song from Rent to an entire unsuspecting restaurant. And I don't know any songs from Rent.

Here's me sporting the "short" lashes (which are not very short) (pro).

"Ask me about my lashes"

They still look incredibly natural but with just enough oomf to make people afraid of me and what I can do

As for fashion, I've really been experimenting more with my thrifted clothes and been increasingly interested in finding up-to-the-minute fashions at the local Goodwill's. (i.e. baller Hawaiian shirt that nobody appreciates besides me and like, two other ballers). Thrifting is another fav that isn't exactly specific to December, but I've been doing it a lot more recently.

The last of my loves of December is dark-ass lipstick. Berry tones are YES! They make me feel so fierce and evil in like the hottest way. It's a killer combo with a little over-drawing and cat eyeliner. Word. 

Moriticia Addams is obviously my role model here. And everywhere.

I just ordered battery's for my other film camera that will hopefully produce less grainy film shots, so I'll be excited to shoot some film soon and share them with you once I eventually someday get them developed. 

XOXO bye hunnies

very mini thrift haul

This is just gonna be a quick post, because I really felt like sharing. So I hit up Goodwill with my mom yesterday, because she's the only person who truly understands this fashionista, (besides Katie, probably... mostly...)

I only got like 3 shirts, which in total were like $9 altogether (!!!!!!!), but I wanted to model them.

"Harpoon" Beer tee from American Apparel. So effin cute. I'm obsessed.

Worthington Petite knit tank top. Has sweater-like ribbing on the bottom. Just flattering & cool. 

Avalin tank top. It's probably the oldest one of the three. Sheer see-through stripes through solid black fabric. Very chic.

I was so excited about the Harpoon top, because these kind of shirts are my actual favorite thing ever. They look straight up good on me and they're so casually tom-boyish but still cute. I'll probably wear it with everything from black leggings to high-waisted jeans. So cute.

I think the two black tank tops are very chic, especially the Avalin one. They would look great with edgier all-black outfits.

kisses

makeup tutorial fun

I have never done a makeup tutorial before, but I made one anyway for random days that you feel like looking fly during.

So, I did make a video of doing my skin, so I kinda just jump right into it here. I decided that was stupid because you can basically do your skin however you want and it would make this whole thing like 45 minutes long total, but if you were wondering what I used on my face...

• Rimmel Match Perfection Foundation in Classic Ivory
• Covergirl Clean Invisible Concealer in Fair
• Rimmel Stay Matte Powder in Buff Beige

And here's the video that took me, like, 4 hours to make. Please N'Joy!

This was a mix of fancy-ass makeup and drugstore-ass makeup that is all pretty affordable considering I paid for almost all of it myself (Besides the Naked palette) (and the Too Faced palette, thanks bae).

Drugstore:

• Maybelliene Rocket Volume Express Mascara
• Rimmel Waterproof Scandaleyes Khol Eyeliner in Black
• Maybelliene Dream Bouncy Blush in Plum Wine 

Fancy:

• Too Faced Candlelight Glow Highlight Powder Duo
• Tarte Lipsurgence in Glitzy
• Naked Palette
• Too Faced Natural Eye Palette 

If anyone actually enjoys this look, I have many more, way intense-r ones that will make you look like a crazy hot witch, if you're into learning how I do that. This look is not the most exciting, but I seem to be better at batshit crazy looks i.e. winged eyeliner and dark, over-drawn lips. If you're into it. Thanks for participating on my life journey. Love u 

:-* bye hunnies

firsts / broad city energy / general life appreciation day

First post. So much pressure, yo. 
I just want to share the aesthetic of my day right now. So I guess this is sort of a diary post.

I had my hardest exam today that didn't start till noon, so naturally, I slept in and felt no impulse to study for my next few exams either.
I immersed myself today totally with slightly tom-boyish vibes. I kinda felt like dressing like my personal style goddess Ilana Glazer. 

Me, pretty much an ultimate babe: 

PLEASE excuse the terrible selfie qual. This is not my standard, you'll see. I just accidentally deleted all the better ones.

Ilana, for defs an ultimate babe

I was HELLA influenced by Ilana's inconceivably relaxed vibration she's sending out at all times with just her outfit language. Didn't sport a sheer top to my exam tho, just pulled out some random American Apparel-style crop top I got at Pacsun for like $5 during one of their better sales, which still had that whole slightly inappropriate, slacker-y feel, (while still acing my tests, duh) (maybe). Grabbed my only pair of patterned leggings for some attention grabbing shit going on in my leg/ass area. $12 on sale at none other than Vickie's Secret. Such a steal, considering the pattern on them is seriously dope and detailed, and they're usually like $30 each. Also, I obvs don't have the same natrual hair wig Ilana wore during this episode depicting her platonic sex dream with Abbi, but it was def feeling more curly than per the ushe, so I was feelin it. Threw on my vintage Levi's jacket and was really feelin effortlessly cool and female stoner-esque. In true Ilana/Abbi style, I've been playing the same 'Old School Hip Hop' playlist on Spotify all day long and announcing my 'fattest ass' status to my friends. All I need to complete my transformation into a real life Ilana glazer is that FABULOUS criss-cross bralette she wears in, like, every episode.

So relatable

As for makeup, I wore foundation that was slightly too dark for my skintone (because how else would you do it, its December in Vermont, every shade is too dark for my cracker ass), eyeliner on only my lower lid (I feel like its the only makeup that looks kinda sexy halfway through the day a little smeared after you've teared up 3 separate times thinking about your impeding future, LOL.), a little cream blusher, mascara, and like 17 pounds of concealer because my undereye circles are starting to concern the adults in my life that I might be actually already dead. Or struggling with crack addiction. Or both. I threw my hair up into an effortlessly messy bun in the middle of my exam and it remained up until... wait, it's still there. 

Here's (kinda) what the makeup look is like. This is a real old picture and my brows have since become much more dramatic and my face has become so disappointingly white. crying emoji

Grabbed some pink frosted donuts on the way home as a way to reward myself for trying my best on exams, and watched Girls for approximately 3 hours, and tried to avoid studying for my Chem exam tomorrow. So, I had a lot of those 'funny girls finding themselves in New York City' FEELS floating around in my head today, which is kind of like every day and made me really look forward to those independent years of my life later on. I'm so Serious, bro dude! 

and OH MY GOD, my jam just came on this sexy ass Spotify playlist, which so reminds me of New York for some reason and I'm kind of really happy right now. Fattest asses.

Night babes! :-*