zayn, photography, vlogs, emotions?

Half day today at school, so I decided to run into the city with my mother and hit the goodwill, and I was thinking, hey, since I'm coming back to Burlington tomorrow with my main CDuff, I was thinking perhaps I could do a vlog of some sort, and if not that, then perhaps a makeup turotial consisting of cheaper products? We are hitting the Bed Bath & Beyond and hopefully snagging some deep discount products, which inspired me into thinking, hey, perhaps you would like to see how I stretch that dollar, hunny. Let me know if you'd be interested in seeing a vlog/affordable makeup tutorial, or both! :*

I'll hopefully be snapping some film shots tomorrow with my newly repaired Nikon N2000, and hopefully getting them developed, like, this year *eye roll at myself*
I've got a nice long weekend ahead, and hopefully be doing some stuff that I can share with the big, wide internet here.
I've also still really got to work on my digital photography assignment, basically I tried to rush to show I just had something done, and basically the two images below are my faves so far. Just experimenting a bit with some bright, morning light! Spring is coming, I can FEEL it in my pores.

i've discovered a new Lightroom preset, thanks to the internet. I'm really feeling pastel, light images with a pinkish hue. Perhaps its the springtime in the air.

ALSO, OH MY GOD, the whole Zayn thing? I'm literally fucking shocked and, yes, I did cry when I found out, because One Direction was the first band I ever really liked and celebrity type boys I had a crush on, and honestly they were just really fucking important to me when I was just starting to get a grip on who I was becoming as a teenager. I literally had a 1D fan account on Twitter in like, the 8th grade to 9th grade. I had like 3,000 followers, they were my utter loves. Still kind of are, although its shifted more to Harry and Zayn, (a little more subtly, ha HA.)
Seriously, I saw them open for Big Time Rush when they were teeny cute babies in Albany, New York when I was in the 8th grade, (like, 5 years ago, with Caitlyn, actually. She feels the pain as well.) and I still remember it like it was last night. Zayn has always been one of my favorites (especially lately, he's been looking hella fit the last year or so) and honestly its broken my heart. 1D will forever be with me in my soul, and I respect Zayn and this situation, but I'm still incredibly sad about it. I feel like I've been with them all this way, and honestly, it really is emotional for me. I don't feel embarrassed by being upset about it, because it's really like a part of my adolescence is changing and maybe even ending. I hope the boys don't break up entirely, but really, will it ever be the same? We all hope so, of course, but in reality, we know it can't be. I'm crying again.

I literally saw him when he looked like he does on the far left. Sigh.

Just a quick update, like I said, I really want to connect with people more through this whole thing! I really want to at least try and make some new friends in this blogging community of beauty/fashion/whatever I'm doing here blogs. Ugh, this is turning into a ramble, I can feel it. But, please don't be shy in asking about what you'd like to see, hell, I'd love to even just hear ideas for blog posts! I seriously love you, especially if you check in regularly, so give me a shout, if you want! :*
This has been an incredibly random post, I hope you all still appreciate the life update. ciao darlings

pictures of boys

I recently got two of the families old two film cameras fixed, my mothers and my fathers. my fathers is an old Nikon FTN from the 70's, but the light meter is still kind of shot. my mothers is a bit newer (mid 80s???), a Nikon N2000 thats a bit more user friendly with an electronic light meter and a lot more mechanical features. it took all of our baby pictures and they came out pretty well. my mother recalls my preschool teacher asking her if she was a professional photographer when she brought some pictures of us in for some reason. I'm happy to use it.

The pictures I recently took of Ryan and one of my father got printed today, and the two of Ryan aren't half bad. I had to borrow a janky school camera for the shoot, but the results are fine. Just a light leak here and there, luckily not on any of the good ones.

excuse the horrific iphone copies. i haven't been able to scan them yet! 

I've been really excited for all the spring fashion coming up. I'm way too pumped to finally break out a dress and sneakers. thats all.

I just splurged on a NuMe 25 mm curling wand to do my hair for prom, and like, 7 things from E.L.F. for like, $17? I basically found all the best elf products on pintrest and bought them up. mostly all highlighters, to feed my highlight addiction. I'll maybe do a post using all drugstore stuff with some more affordable makeup *dupes* for high-end.

I also just applied for a new job at the local coffee place, honestly just because I need the cash.

I've also been kind of obsessed with Vlogs recently... I've been watching a lot of one of my favorite Youtubers/human beings in general, Zoe Sugg (Zoella)'s vlogs and they honestly just make me really happy and relaxed. It's interesting seeing the reality television of somebody else's life... if that makes any sense. They honestly just make me feel more positive and cheerful in general. I seriously love Zoella's vlogs especially because she is such a sweetheart and I feel like she's a genuinely good, kind person. Even though I've never met her. Now this sounds creepy, but thats not what it's like... I'm going to just stop talking now.
Ok, I seriously need to go do my photography assignment. ciao :*

grandma weekend

recently, I've felt the need to involve myself in some new time-consuming activities that aren't totally pointless in the grand scheme of things, (such as prowling Pintrest aimlessly in attempts to conspire the perfect prom makeup/hair situation. the journey is never over.)
so I took up embroidery this weekend. In the past 48 hours, this is what I've accomplished:

I was really feeling my inner zooey deschanel. so qUirK¥

I don' think its half bad for only 48 hours in tha game.

Don't worry though, I still binge-watched Fresh Off The Boat (amazing) on Hulu while I did the "Queen" one. Perfect for above my bed. Let's see if that shirt holds up to the washing machine or routine wear. Probably not. But maybe.

I hit the Goodwill and copped a dope black tee shirt dress thing from American Apparel. I should probably wash it so I can dry it like, 3 times, so I can shrink it to a size small (its a medium). I like my shirt dresses tight, brah.

I also hit my favorite store ever, Bed Bath and Beyond, and grabbed the lip color I'm wearing in the photo above (NYX Matte Lip Cream in Monte Carlo), as a possible prom lip color to go with my long black dress (too vampirish? impossible), the NYX WonderPencil and the NYX WonderStick for contour (its dope, in case you were looking for a recommendation).
We also grabbed some jars and shit at the craft store (I didn't know how much I loved craft stores), and we (me and my mother) blew fuckin stacks up in there. On jars and shit. Why, you might ask? Neither of you can do crafts? Well, to you, I say, refer to the above, babes. :*

body collective

A photography project for school focused on a sequence of images flowing seamlessly into the other

trippin in the city

so, I got back from New York on Monday, and we left on Thursday for Albany and stayed in the city for two nights, and let me tell you, I'm going to be drinking coffee at home for at least 3 months/forever. I love New York, but oh my god, I am so broke right now. I'm currently on a desperate job search because I need some income pretty badly now. I picked up an application for Dunkin Donuts and realized that was not a good option for me (donut addiction+working around donuts all day=diabeetus)

New York was amazing and beautiful, as usual. The one different thing about this trip was that I visited The New School (Eugene-Lange for liberal arts), and oh man, its amazing. I love everything about it. Its perfect for me. Its in the middle of New York City, its got an intimate class size, and a huge part of life TNS has to do with social justice and involving yourself in social justice projects locally or around the world. I loved it, in short. The buildings were beautiful and modern and the writing oriented curriculum really was the icing on the cake for me. I want to go there so bad, and I think if I work hard this year and get an acceptable SAT score, I could get in.  However, its also about 60K a year. I mean, you never know, I could get a ton of those random specific scholarships and maybe my grandparents will chip in. I'll keep you updated.

We stayed in the beautiful Waldorf-Astoria and splurged on some fancy-ass meals around town at the 21 Club (which was superb), and the Bull and Bear in the Waldorf. We visited classic New York stores such as Tiffany's and Bergdorf's. I ended up splurging on a Michael Kors bag (which was the real wallet-emptier), the Anastasia Beverley Hills Contour Pallete in Light (which is amaze by the way, maybe I'll talk about it in a post soon about fancy makeup), and  a single long-sleeved white tee shirt. I think I have enough stuff to last me awhile.

but isn't it glorious...?

I unfortunately didn't get to take many pictures since we were only in the city for like less than 48 hours and we were running around doing a million things, but I got some cool pics of the decor inside the Waldorf and the MoMA.

bull & bear

lobby area thing

moma album covers

warhol

I was taking pictures of minimalist art when this lady threw her hand in. does life imitate art? yes

me and my pal

more of me and my pal feat me with falsies

me in front of a wall at Anthropologie while a lil bit sick

Now school is back into swing and I am pining for it to be over already, looking to maybe spending some time alone in Montreal this summer for a few weeks or other...stuff... maybe....

Doing all this college stuff and traveling is really making me want to go away for awhile soon. I hope to get out of VT this summer and do something cool and do fun stuff. Now I'm rambling so im gonna chill and let this be just a quick update on how my trip went and whats up. Prom season is coming up and that will be the one thing I'm not too cool to look forward to. Maybe I'll make a post on how to do your own makeup/maybe some hair for prom. Let me know if anybody actually read this, by the way. I feel like I'm talking to myself a little bit? 

kisses